Of course, you realise this means war

Am I allowed to take umbrage against events that affect me only peripherally? A rhetorical question, I know, but let's assume that the answer is in the affirmative.

My hackles have been raised by the announcement that work is introducing a clear desk policy. I'm naturally exempt from such a decree (oh, the joys of homeworking), which is just as well, considering that there's a heap of miscellany obscuring the surface of my desk right now. However, I'm still unhappy about it, as are many of the people I know who still work in the office. I've suffered through enough clear desk policies in my career to have little respect for them. I understand the motivation behind their introduction but it invariably strikes me as little more than wishful thinking. Experience tells me that the only result of the policy will be the reduction of staff moral for a few weeks before the ruling collapses under the weight of it's own self importance and stuff gradually starts creeping back onto desks once more.

Most of my irritation is simply due to the fact clear desk policies are, in my estimation, nothing more pure undiluted bureaucracy which serve no useful purpose. I will confess, however, that a least a small fraction of my ire stems from the fact that a lot of items scheduled for removal from desks around the office are, well, mine. Some animals have obvious ways of marking their territories - I'm sure you can all pluck out an example or two from your fertile imaginations thus saving me the small embarrassment of elaborating further - I on the other hand like to think that my methods are somewhat subtler. A miniature zen garden here, a geomagnetic sculpture there. A snow globe or two for effect. A lurid posable pink flamingo for... well, just because. Ok, so my ways aren't exactly subtle, but suffice it to say that I've left my imprint on the office. What trace of my will be left when those are gone?

I will not give up my stuff. I've made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They remove my clock sign and I fall back. They clear my crap from the office and I fall back. The line must be drawn here. This far and no further.

They may take our desks, but they will never take my flamingo!