Season's feelings

There are times when I'm just not good at wanting things for myself, mostly because it hasn't occurred to me that I should want such a thing. Christmas trees for example. Despite all the brough-ha-hah I've put myself through when it came to decorating the flat, I never once considered decorating it for Christmas. In fact, although I adore the appearance of Christmas decorations, I haven't decorated for Christmas for many a year now, mostly because I've been living in rented accommodation. It's strange I feel like I've just confessed a dark secret by admitting that.

'Tweren't always that way. Once upon a time I took great delight in decorating my bedroom back home with all manner of trinkets and ornaments and twinkling lights. My justification for that, however, was that my bedroom faced the road outside the house and was therefore visible to the world, whereas our living room, resplendently decked out in a bedazzling array of foil decorations and tinsel and the vast number of Christmas cards my mother receives each year, was not. I always felt that passers by should be able to see some sort of seasonal celebration, so I took it upon myself to provide The lesson I can derive from that is that it's often much easier to want things for others.

Recently, I've had numerous people point out to me that I should have a Christmas tree. And you know what? They're right. I do love this time of year, near the turning of the seasons when the winter solstice signals the lengthening of the days. And I love the pomp and pageantry that goes with it. No decoration is too gaudy or tacky, no Christmas jingle too irritating (a contentious point I realise, but I've worked in retail at Christmas on several occasions and got through it without sickening of the endless looping tape of Christmas carols - your mileage may vary of course). That said, I do believe my new tree (freshly purchased this afternoon), despite being as artificial as they come, looks rather tasteful. I'm probably stretching the definition of "tasteful" a bit here, since the tree is composed composed of wire and metal and innumerable small pink lights, but it's only a very small tree and it seems to fit in rather well. It's sitting on my desk by the window just now, gently emitting a rosy glow.

I feel much more seasonal already.