From the archives
As I was spreading some hydrogenated vegetable oil on a slice of bread earlier today, my thoughts turned to Jim, someone I worked with briefly several years ago.
The setting was an Italian restaurant just off Trafalgar square, where we'd all decamped to enjoy lunch that afternoon. I don't recall the exact circumstances, save that someone else was paying for lunch, which was reason enough to celebrate. I found myself seated next to Jim. As I buttered a piece of bread, Jim proceeded to tell me about a theory of his, that hydrogenated vegetable oil was part of a government conspiracy to control the UK population. I waited for a punchline that never came. Instead I found myself trapped in one of those "Oh wait, you mean you were serious" moments that seem to stretch on forever.
There's a reason why I only worked with Jim briefly...
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I hate to say it, but Jim's plan is working. It is a conspracy, and much like the tape in The Ring.. each of the people who read your blog will think of this theory each time they spread hydrogenated vegetable oil on their bread until............................agggghhhhh.....no...no.....please.............
Reminds me a little of a lunch I had during my consultant days. It was with one of the client's team members. He and I had just completed a particularly intense bout of training (a couple of weeks worth as I recall - I developed the materials, he led the classes). It had gone very well, so he suggested we go out for lunch, on the client, to celebrate. Sounded great, so off we went.
About 15 mins into the 90 minute lunch he mentioned that he'd overheard a late-night conversation which I'd had with some of my fellow consultants on the matter of religion. He was sorry to hear that I'd left the church seven years ago...
He was driving.