All the things unsaid
More and more I've been censoring myself on here. Censoring is a stronger term than I'd like, but it's the nearest fit I can think of. Lot's of things have been flitting through my head that I haven't written up for a variety of reasons. Others I've started, and restarted before eventually discarding. Much of it self analytical. I'm not sure from whence these self-imposed barriers have sprung or why. I don't believe my attitude to my blog has changed, nor my attitude towards whoever happens to be reading it. Perhaps my attitude towards myself is different now. I'm unsure what to make of several dreams I've had recently. Their texture is the same as ever, the same familiar distortions in evidence, but there's a strange taint to their flavour, with my behaviour within them seeming decidedly off-kilter. Troublesome even. I'm likely reading too much into it - I place no credence in my dreams after all, but I can't help but wonder what's caused this shift.
What's changed in me?
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Perhaps it's more complicated.. perhaps it's a function of the environment your mind finds itself in (change in clocks, flat stuff, recent events, recent physical health) as well as stuff inside you mental realm..
Carlos Castaneda - Art of dreaming, very good book on err... dreaming!
Not to sound too flippant but could a good vacation be in order (Hawaii is always nice)? Works for me - now that I recognize the signs.
Perhaps it's the unsettling feeling of having good friends apparently ignore you ... as I have. Sorry, huge computer problems at home, horrific work hours and stress. I will be in touch as soon as my computer's fixed. I hate to put 'too personal' messages on your blog, but I have little alternative, unless you want a 'phone call at 3am.
By the way, one of your new themes for your blog ... is it some derivation of that fantastic installation art piece in London where there were huge mirrors? It reminded me ...