You might say I'm a dreamer

I've lost count of the number of times I've told various friends and family members that I'm not getting my hopes up over my immediate job prospects. Each time, I've taken a deep breath and explained that I've reigned in my expectations, and that I'm being realistic about what the future may hold. But I fear I've been slightly dishonest. The truth is that I can't help but get my hopes up - it's just how my nature runs. It's not that I'm relying on a positive outcome, I tread too gingerly where the future is concerned for that, but at heart I'm a dreamer (though I'm not the only one), and when I stop to ponder matters I can't help but consider the most rose tinted of outcomes. Of course, I'll consider an entire gamut of alternative consequences too, not all of them stained so colourfully, but I know in which direction my heart will be tugged, I know what I want to believe will happen. I am an optimist, even though I often refuse to admit it where my own life is concerned. And why fight it? I like the fact that unknown possibilities lie ahead - I positively revel in them, in fact. It doesn't matter that there may not be a happy ending directly in front of me (or better yet, a happy continuance - endings are too depressingly final when it comes to real life), for the moment it's enough to be able to consider such things as may come to pass.

So yes, I have a job interview, and yes I am getting my hopes up. At the same time another part of me will also be preparing for the worst, but it's a smaller part (about the size of a kidney), and I can conveniently shove it to one side for the time being. And hopefully (with a little bit of luck), I shan't have any need of it.