Nothing to see here, move along...
This made me laugh.
This made me think.
This I found interesting.
P.S I've decided the secret to cucumber sandwiches is to add lots of cheese. And to cut the slices of cucumber really thinly. And to apply it frugally. If at all.
I don't think I like cucumber...
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You could always pretend to be the butler in 'The Importance of Being Ernest' and claim that when you visited the market, "There were no cucumbers to be had ... not even for ready money." One of my favourite theatrical pronouncements of all time.