Peachy Keen

Some more of my handiwork was loosed upon our unsuspecting user base at work today. I mentioned it before, when I described the problems I was having trying to garner positive (or at least useful) feedback from one of our users. At the same time I wrote that, I also predicted that I wouldn't be feted for the changes I was making. Truthfully, the best I was hoping was for responses ranging between neutral and lukewarm. Despite this, I was pleased with what I accomplished in the end. Perhaps even proud. I worry that it may be boastful to even think this, but I genuinely believe that the end result was as good as it could possibly be.

You can see the contradiction already - I made something that I believed to be good, yet I didn't expect others to react positively. As is my way, I underestimated myself - It didn't gather a negative reaction from anyone. In fact, the mails we've got have practically been glowing.

The department head sent round an email of congratulations containing a few of the responses he'd gotten. My favourite by far simply said "It's a peach." However, I didn't fully appreciate the significance of these comments. One of the other quotes was "It's quite good." Apparently this came from the most belligerent of all our users, a man who is noted for never having said a positive word to say about anything we've ever produced. Judging from the reactions of people around me, it was the equivalent of Farmer Hoggets "That'll do, pig".

I have a curious relationship with positive feedback. I like it. I appreciate it. On occasion, I've even been known to solicit for it. But I'm always, always embarassed by it. Pleased as well, but still embarassed. One day I hope to be the sort of person who can just accept the worth of their accomplishments. I'm not quite there yet, but for the moment... that'll do. That'll do.

Oh, who am I kidding - no, no it won't.

I've still got a lot left to get through. Perhaps the best thing to come out of this is that it gives me some more leverage when it comes to doing things my way. I've got a lot planned and, even if I do say so myself, the best is yet to be.

They ain't seen nothing yet!