You would have loved it

I had a great idea for a Christmas present a few days ago, so today I went looking for it. I like to put at least some thought into most of the presents I hand out, but I will confess that every once in while, out of desperation as much as anything else, I fall back on that worst of Christmas tide habits, handing out what my younger brother Nicky has termed "Gifts" (you have to pronounce the capital "G"). "Gifts" (you don't have to pronounce the inverted commas, but I find it helps) are those things that start to appear in shops in the three months before Christmas which no person in their right mind would ever buy for themselves. You know you're in trouble when you start to look at that miniature table football kit and try to persuade yourself that Uncle Bob really will appreciate it, when you know in your heart of hearts that it's going to find it's way into the deep dark recess of Uncle Bob's house that he set aside years ago to specifically house "Gifts".

Anyway, the idea I had was entirely the opposite of a "Gift" - it was a present to touch the heart, a gift that would be appreciated for years to come. Knowing what I wanted I set out to try and find it. It was only when I reached the middle of London that I realised that I didn't have a clue where I was going to find the item I wanted, since to be honest, it was a slightly obscure and arcane object. So I did what seemed to be the best idea in such circumstances - I went to nearest shop at hand that appeared as though it might purvey strange and arcane items, looked in the window and saw it right there in center of the display. You'd be amazed how often that works...

Unfortunately this tale does not have a happy ending. I had no idea how much the thing I was looking for would cost when I set out. It turned out to cost approximately 24 times what I'd hoped to pay for for it. I'll admit that I considered it for a second, but alas, however much it's eventual recipient would have dearly loved it (and they would, they really would), I couldn't in good faith have paid so much for it.

Now I know that by this point you're probably wondering what on earth it is that I went seeking, but I'm afraid I'm going to leave you wondering. Since I saw Neil Gaiman yesterday, I may as well offer a quote of his to end this: "It's the mystery that endures, not the explanation."

Good night.